Self-Sabotage – Change your circumstances by changing your attitude August 28, 2023 by Riston While we do have some objective knowledge of the world, we tend often to confuse our subjective experiences and perceptions with objective knowledge. Two people can experience the exact same phenomena while extracting completely different, or even contradictory impressions from their experiences. Much of our experience of reality is shaded by our attitude and mindset, and these psychological principles can be altered; therefore we can change much of our reality by actively engaging in and altering our mindset. Carl Jung defined attitude as a certain proclivity to expect or to react to certain things in a set of predetermined ways. To some extent we are inclined through genetics and our early experiences to adopt certain sets of attitudes, but these are not immutable conditions. It may take time, but we can alter our psyche to become more expansive and open to new ways of seeing the world, especially if we have a more narrow, negative, and restrictive view of reality. People with more negative and narrow views of reality are often trying to limit their range of experiences for the sake of control, but this tends to reduce a person’s potential for success. There are two basic keys for exercising greater control of one’s attitude: Become aware of your own attitude and how it slants your perception – Notice whether you are always blaming other people and circumstance for every misfortune that appears in your life, whether you dread change, or can’t handle any challenge to your views. Cultivate a belief in the power of attitude to change circumstances – You may not be able to alter truly immutable conditions, but most things can be changed. You should no longer be a pawn in some master’s game. Embrace adventure, and utilize desire and will to effect positive changes in health. The Constricted Attitude The constricted and negative attitude is generally a reaction to the precarious nature of life. People fear uncertainty and the potential for pain it carries. By limiting one’s perspective and range of possible experiences, a sense of control is facilitated. Since this sense of control is built on limiting one’s range of perception, which is effectively a form of ignorance, one becomes more emotionally vulnerable to unnoticed patterns and fluctuations and often anger and frustration are the resulting experience. This sets up a compounding cycle where all of these negative emotions reinforce each other. The Hostile Attitude – These types constantly see their lives as a series of battles, betrayals, and persecutions without ever truly admitting their own part in this perpetual churn. People with this attitude are constantly sabotaging relationships, their work, and everything else (consciously or unconsciously) by being quick to anger, or not cooperating, or doing terrible quality work. This elicits negative emotions from others, which in turn reinforces their view of the world as a hostile place. These types feed off your anger, so be reticent to give them that energy. The Anxious Attitude – These types see only obstacles and problems in every situation that they encounter, and tend towards perfectionism and micromanagement as a means of maintaining control. Unlike the hostile type, these tend to become overly domineering in relationships under the guise of care, and in more social situations usually are extremely accommodating in their interactions. To mitigate these tendencies in oneself, it is advisable to focus this energy on a passion project. The Avoidant Attitude – These types generally fear judgement, and will often flake after a period of time or when stakes are high in order to obscure their perceived flaws. People with this attitude rarely finish things out of fear of failure, and are generally best avoided for partnerships. Should you experience this attitude in yourself, one strategy for overcoming is to set up small projects that you complete. The Depressive Attitude – These types often felt unloved as children, and carry a fear of loss and abandonment throughout their lives. They often opt to self-impose these feelings through withdrawal from others and life or by encouraging instances of betrayal in others in relationships; thus, they can at least maintain control over these experiences rather than having them imposed on them. In trying to help these types, don’t preach to them about how cheery life is, just go along with them and try to subtly draw them towards more positive experiences. The Resentful Attitude – These types have a constant bone to pick, and they rarely let go of grudges. They may be pleasant on the surface, but in secret they are constantly scrutinizing your every word and action for a possible insult. These types are best to be avoided, since the longer you’re around them, the more ammunition they will have gathered to use against you. The Expansive Attitude The shift towards holism in physical and psychological health practices has provided more of a context for addressing issues that include lifestyle changes, rather than just addressing specific problems. Our attitudes strongly influence our circumstances and how we process stress, all of which in turn affect our health. By facilitating a more expansive attitude can we more strongly realize our potential. How to view the world – One should view their role in life as an explorer. Relinquishing the constant need for certainty and control helps one to open their mind to experiencing the world with curiosity rather than fear, and this can lead to more pleasurable state of being that will also lead to greater insights and wisdom. How to view adversity – Most people go through life trying to avoid adversity and obstacles, not realizing that these can provide opportunities. You can’t always control the hand you’re given, but you can control how you play them. How to view yourself – As we age, we often begin to place limits on ourselves (whether real or imagined). In addition, most in the modern world have adopted attitudes of self-effacing humility and nonchalance, which helps to promote keeping others from realizing true potential. In ancient times, heroic and legendary figures often saw themselves as descended from the gods, and went on to accomplish much. Don’t fall into hubris, but don’t place arbitrary limits on yourself either. How to view your health and energy – Often illnesses happen which are beyond personal control, but mindset and willpower play a strong role in how our health unfolds. Ramping up energy and excitement for new projects can help provide the impetus needed to push beyond our perceived physical capabilities. How to view other people – View others as facts of nature. Even when they are slighting you, try to understand that it may have less to do with you personally and more to do with their own pent up frustrations and deep-seated issues. Viewing others in this way greatly increases a sense of tolerance for other people’s bad attitudes. The Role of the Soul The ancient concept of the soul remains one of the strongest explanations for subject identity. Despite it not really having an identifiable physical component, it does explain much in terms of subject experience and continuity. Those who shut themselves off from experiences tend over time to develop a deadened personality, while embracing new experiences and a more expansive mindset tends to invigorate the personality. Soulful people tend to not constantly blame others for their problems, but instead evaluate the role that they themselves played in their circumstance first. They also adapt to new or unpleasant circumstances instead of complaining. Overall, the key to increasing the influence of the soul in one’s life is to embrace the dynamic nature of life and the universe.